Let's do this...

So, after seeing my friend's blog this morning, it made me want to do something about it. I decided a long time ago that I wanted to try my hand at blogging but had never got around to it....like most things. Here I am, sitting in my dining room on my laptop, listening to the sound of rain melt away the freshly fallen snow, wondering what to write about. I'm sure I won't have many followers (or any at all) and that's fine. It'll just be nice to get some things down on pseudo-paper.

Christmas is coming. Big woop. Yes, I'm excited for the celebration part of it, the joy that comes with partying in the name of Jesus' birthday....but I'm also not excited. I'm sort of wishing it would just pass by already and be done with it. I don't have any decorations up yet....probably in the hopes that if I just ignore it, the pain won't have to surface. But alas, today is the day to get out all those decorations and Saturday is the day we get the tree. *sigh*

My dad used to get all dressed up on Christmas Eve and go to church with us (my mom, my sister, and I) - and that was a big deal, he didn't 'go' to church. Then, on Christmas morning, it would usually be me and my dad awake before anyone else. I was always over-excited for Christmas morning and he was ALWAYS up really early (I'm told because of his time in the Navy). I would wake up early and sit on the couch just staring at all the gifts while my father would prepare his Christmas morning feast. My dad wasn't big on cooking any other meals other than breakfast - and at that he was great. I would sit there and try to suppress my excitement (so as not to wake my sister or my mom) and listen to Christmas music quietly playing in the background. I remember the one Christmas my dad got a new TV and I came down to see that he had made a simulation of a snow fall and a Christmas tree and snowman and a "Merry Christmas" greeting on his computer and put it on the TV. He was always so excited about Christmas morning too.

But this Christmas there will be no dad. No "Suzy-uzy-uzy!!!", no "Gimme hugs!", no "Loves ya!", no "Save the paper!". He's gone, God took him away from us this year. My mom is so lonely, my heart breaks for her. I miss him terribly, my heart breaks for me. Even though my dad didn't thoroughly celebrate the true meaning of Christmas, he always made it Merry. This year, there will be an empty stocking, no gifts for "Daddy" under the tree, no random books or games from his store wrapped up for me. Oh Lord I need you to help me through this Christmas. Help my mom, help my sister. I pray that this Christmas is still joyful, albeit less so than normal.

I miss you daddy. Merry Christmas....